what we have received (d.chang ch. 4)

the first thing paul mentions is that we should be seen by man as "servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God," which i think is pretty funny because a steward is kind of like an employee who spreads something or is in charge of bringing something to someone, and it says that we should do this with the "mysteries of God," which is something that we can't even grasp. we are chosen to bring to people things that we ourselves don't even know. we know of God's power, but it's still a mystery. it's still fresh and exciting, and that's kind of the way it should be.

so paul says that men should see us as servants of Christ, but then he says that it's still a really small thing what men see, because what really matters is what God thinks. paul believes this so much that he doesn't even let himself judge or justify himself, which is pretty amazing. he doesn't even care what he thinks about himself, just what God cares. so if he is dying and God says "this is the closest you've been to me. i love who you are," paul would be ecstatic, even in his misery. it goes back to really seeing yourself the way God sees you, and not letting you give yourself identity.

this becomes more and more apparent, because lately, i have been getting down on myself because i think i screw up too much and i have all of these character flaws and i'm not good enough. but what God is really saying is that i'm okay. He just wants my heart, and all of the things that i do or don't do aren't nearly as important as my heart. what He really cares about is whether or not my eyes are fixed on Him. and He's the judge, not me. He has the right to tell me who i am and i don't.

paul then talks about how we shouldn't be puffed up. He asks "For who makes you differ from another?" who makes us different from each other? who created us different? "And what do you have that you did not receive?" i can't think of anything. really try to ask yourself this. "Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?" if the things that you have were a gift, then why do you brag about them like they are your own?

i read this part multiple times, but it was like the third time before i realized that this was my problem. i have been going through this pride thing lately where i think i'm better than other people, but this passage (v. 7) pretty much nails it. everything i have, i have been blessed with. but it's a gift, and it doesn't make me any better than anyone else. it's just the way i've been made. i can be proud of what i have been given because these gifts are good, but i have no reason to boast or be puffed up. i didn't do anything to prompt these gifts. i have received them. everything i have i received. i was put in this spot and i was given the way i look and think and talk and move.

from verses 8 to 13, paul, i think, is talking to the church in corinth how they are rich and full and rulers, but the apostles are kind of hidden away. they are fools and weak and dishonored and homeless. and he says that he writes this not to make them feel bad, but to warn them (v. 14). i guess to warn them from getting puffed up, though this is really just speculation. he could be warning them from forgetting everything that God has done, because when you are homeless and dishonored, you are also humbled. so the apostles (paul and company) are going through a lot and so they are forced to keep their eyes on God for peace and to provide, but these in Corinth who are strong and distinguished are not going through things like this, so paul could be telling them not to get lazy or spiritually obese.

the last thing paul talks about is that the kingdom of God isn't in word, but in power (v. 20). i think this says it shouldn't be about talking the talk or being puffed up or thinking that you are so great, but it's about power and authority. and this power and authority lies within Christ. he then asks them if, when he comes, they want him to come with a rod or "in love and a spirit of gentleness?" i feel kind of stupid, because i don't know what the answer is. i would think the answer would be a rod, so that whatever needs to happen will simply happen. spare the words, just go to power. don't worry about feelings getting hurt, just do what needs to be done.