1 Corinthians 4

v. 3 - "I care very little if I am judged by you or any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me."
Paul brings up the concept of absolute justification - it's not our conscience that justifies us, or what we do or don't do. The state of one's soul is not relative to what they're thinking or feeling...

"...'Do not go beyond what is written'...for who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive?" (v. 6-7)

So...onto a large tangent: Being content - living every second knowing that God delights in us - that's enough to get us through any obstacle and out of apathy. I don't need to strive for skills that make me useful in society or cool to others.

It's a paradox - only after I have accepted the truth of God's unconditional love will I bear much fruit, not the other way around (I think God deals with me very specifically on this). Only after I understand that His approval of me cannot be won or gained, but that I already have it, will I have the freedom to powerfully advance the kingdom and the grace to be completely faithful with what He's given to me. For those who have read The Final Quest, I'm thinking of the image of the soldiers who have swords but don't use them, so are taken captive...but that's another tangent.

Also, that deep relationship with God, knowing Him, is what gets us through v. 9-13 - "...God has put us apostles on display...We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to human beings. We are fools for Christ...We have become the scum of the earth..." ...I think fools for Christ are people so consumed by God, and so lost in God, that they don't care about what goes on around them as long as they're in His will. People able to bear reproach because they have their eyes set on God alone and not themselves or peripheral action.